Key West

Heck yea, friends!!! I am going to Key West the day after Christmas! Tropical paradise and shennanigans await. The schooner that Kristin and I sailed on all summer has made the voyage south back to it's home in KW, so we are venturing to the Keys along with our boyfriends to reunite with Monk and the Mistress for a couple days and New Years Eve.

Leaving Baltimore at 10am on 12/26 and should arrive in Kissimee around midnight of the 27th. There, the four of us can get some shut eye before Kristin's parents arrive there and before Mike and I get back on the road and head to that string of islands. Kristin and Jason are going to spend a few days in Orlando with her family and then are flying to Key West on the 31st, where Mike and I will pick them up. Another friend of ours is making the trip as well, so the 5 of us are going to bunk up on Mistress and have a kick arse time in the most southern city in the United States!

Snorkeling, fishing, drinking tropical drinks, floating on rafts (while drinking tropical drinks), laying in hammocks on the boat, seafood, clothing optional bars, NEW YEARS EVE!, renting mopeds, renting bikes, finding creatures, maybe sailing, and hanging out with Monk are all on the list of things to do.

Since we are driving, I will be documenting this monumental trip and posting video and blogs on here. Hopefully, we'll make it there without killing each other and arrive with a couple cigars and fireworks from South of the Border....

YEA ISLAND AND SUN AND BLUE WATER!

OBX!!

LIFE OVERLOAD

Please excuse me for a moment....

AHHHH KLDJSOIUUURKjdoisvoiiuw!!(**#)%%P_@MNDGFOB()*#$)*($)@#(*$)@#(*! !! !!! Crying a little. I(#*$)(@#*($$. UGHHH!

Thank you.

You know when cars overheat? You're driving along, you hear some put-putting, and pull over to the side of the road where the car conveniently decides to crap out? Frustrated, you get out of the car on a 90 degree, sun blazing day, pop the hood, and all of this smoke and steam comes pouring out into your already hot face? My head/brain/life are that car right now. I am experiencing a condition that I am dubbing "life overload".

Let me explain. I am in love with post-its. When I need little reminders, I jot them down on post-its and tape them to things like my cell phone, wallet, or desk (places I know I won't overlook). Then, as I do each task, I just roll that sucker up and throw it away. So awesome, these post-its. However, in the last few weeks/days, my desk has become covered with post-its and I have resorted to the high school days of writing things on my hand since I have no room left for post-its. Some things to do include some of the following:

• Homework -- F. I have no time for it/desire to do it.
• Make photo prints for my ever expanding photography business - which is another thing to write about....oof.
• Buy frames
• Matte, frame, take to Funky Beehive and The Hill
• Meeting to form the Protek Gear LLC
• Sailing for three days this weekend when I should be doing any of the above
• Get work at real job done...F. See prior blogs to get my stance on that.
• Finish unpacking my room from my move last weekend
• And more that are on other post-its at home, purse, car.
• Keep in mind that all of these, especially the photography things, take a LOT of time to do and usually cost a pretty penny.

Things that are stressing me out to the max:

• Lack of spare time/energy/focus to do any of the above things
• Calendar filled up for entire summer, minus 4 weekends
• Above includes a lot of travelling
• Lack of resources, aka, MONEY.
• I think I am starting to have an anxiety attack right now thinking of these things, so I am going to stop with this list (there is a lot more)

So, to begin Life Overload therapy, instead of doing ANYTHING that I needed to do last night, I decided to make use of the massive jacuzzi tub in my new house (I moved last week). There is a skylight right over the tub, so I had a nice hot, bubbly soak while the rain fell on the skylight..it was very relaxing. Then I took a hot shower. Then I lit some candles, put on a jazz radio station on iTunes, and got in bed at 9pm to fall asleep to the rain. At the time, it was well worth it and I really needed some relaxation. This morning however, it doesn't seem that worth it because I'm back to where I started - freaking out about everything I have to do.

I need about one week to get my life in order and get shit figured out. My head hurts. Peace.

LDphotography

So I haven't talked about one of my favorite hobbies yet...taking pictures.

In 2007, I took my parents sailing in Annapolis for their anniversary. I took a lot of pictures on that trip and was just fascinated by the wind, the sails, and how the sun looked on the water in black and white. The boat we were on, Schooner Woodwind, has a photo contest every year, so I decided to submit one of the pictures I took to try and win a Boat and Breakfast. Veryyyy surprisingly to me, I ended up winning (see photo below). That gave me a slight ego boost and I thought "maybe I actually do get some good shots?". After that I didn't leave my house without a camera. I couldn't take enough pictures of sailing, water, boats and sun.

Last year at W-B's Fine Arts Fiesta, I was walking around the square with my parents looking at different artists photographs. Every time we walked by a stand, my mom or dad would be like "Lisa that looks like one of your pictures" or "Leese, your pictures are way better, I can't believe they're selling it for $200". After we left, they kept telling me that they thought I could make some money off of my photos and encouraged me to try to sell them somewhere. Being that have zero professional photography experience or training whatsoever, I pretty much waived the idea off. I still can't really tell you anything about aperture value, rather than that you can focus on one thing and have the rest of the picture blury. I'm an extremely novice photographer and have a plethora to learn. That being said, a lot has changed since that day at the Fine Arts Fiesta...

On one of my days off in October 2008, I decided to walk around to all of the galleries up and down Charles and Light Street to see what they had on display. I wanted to ask some questions abput the artists, if they were local, where they get their supplies (mattes, sleeves, etc.), just to see how they got their start. The galleria folks were definitely NOT my style. Here is an accurate description of one of the gallery folks I talked to: think of the scene from Ferris Bueller's Day off where the gang goes to have lunch at a really fance restaurant -- almost everyone that I spoke to that day was a mirror character image of the host from that scene...very snooty, annoying, made faces, and clearly had no time for my young, penniless self. Needless to say, I decided after I walked out of that gallery that I would never want any of my pictures hanging around some nerd like that anyway...ever. As I left that place somewhat disgruntled, I wandered across the street to this bright blue, funky little storefront. That is when I fell upon the Funky Beehive and Kara Hanson.

Kara is the owner of a shop called the "Funky Beehive" and it basically expresses every part of my personality wrapped up into one perfect little store. She and her golden retriever happily greeted me as I came in to look around. Aside from the unique, creative and entertaining trinkets she sells, what interested me the most was her focus on the Federal Hill and theme of locality. She features paintings, handmade jewelery, Natty Boh/Federal Hill signs, and photographs...all of which are typically made/taken by local artists. Kara offers these artists the opportunity to display their work in a fun and homey atmosphere which attracts just the kind of clientelle I was hoping to get some exposure to (unlike Snooty Galleria man). I spoke with her that day and told her I had some pictures I was thinking about selling. She gladly looked at some of my work, picked out a couple that she thought grooved with the store, and now my photos are competing for sale with the famous Aubrey Bodine. Stop by the store and check out all of Kara's funky gifts and pieces of art (including my photos!!)! I couldn't thank her enough for giving me the opportunity to share a hobby that brings me happiness with other people :)

Some more kudos are in order to Kara and the Funky Beehive because due to one of her personal/professional contacts, some of my work will be displayed in the new bar/restaurant on s. Charles Street called, "The Hill". More to come on that later. Also, my website, www.lisadierolfphotography.com, is still under construction, but will be completed very soon!!

I Like Lists

So here is my bucket list, which I plan on completing way before I am even close to kicking it. Maybe I should call it something else? Here is my Before I Turn 30 List (30, ew):

1. Go to the Venus Surf Camp in Costa Rica
2. Enter a surf competition and place in the Top 3
3. Live in a Central/South American country for one month
4. Start my business
5. Take video editing and photography classes
6. Spend a lot of money for one whole day at a spa
7. Become fluent in Spanish
8. Send my parents on a sweet vacation
9. Convince my brother to finish college
10. Begin writing my book
11. Get engaged, married and start a family

I'll modify as needed over the years, but those are all things that I wish I could do right this minute...except for #11, that one comes last.

Thousands

After the past week and a half's headlines on the thousands and thousands of people being laid off from their jobs, reality is starting to sink in a bit. This recession is no joke. People that I am very close with are being directly affected and losing their jobs. Now I'm realizing how insensitive some previous posts might have been.

The last two weeks of work were bad. There is no other way to put it, they were just really bad in more ways than one. But I am so thankful that I am still employed, even if I don't particularly care for the work that I'm doing. A job is a job. It is keeping me afloat, paying my bills and paying for my vacations, which I'm lucky to even be taking at this point. I just have to suck it up during these difficult times and stop complaining like a little kid until the economy starts to turn around. I could be much much much much more worse off than just being the person who's not getting what she wants out of her career after 2 years. I have zero right to rant on like I have been. Now, I'm not at fault for not liking what I'm doing at all, but now just is not the time to do it. Someone slap me then next time I complain about my career. Thanks.

The Best Job In The World

Welp, I got really bored last night after taking a 3.5 hour nap (thank you, Benadryl) and decided to put something together quick for this "Best Job In The World" application (http://www.islandreefjob.com/).

After watching a bunch of other people's apps, I think mine is competitive enough. I mean, it is going up against the "Uhhhh yeahhh, so um pick me because uhh I'm awesome"'s and "I've always wanted to go 'Down Undah' matey!! PICK ME PICK ME!"'s. Oh, and then there was the classic one of the couple that come as a "package" and just made out and talked about love the whole time...????. I basically just got down to it and didn't fake that I actually knew something about the Great Barrier Reef, however, I did touch upon different skills and things I like to do that were mentioned in the job description, so hopefully I get put in the potential pile when they see mine. The only other differences between my application and thousands of others are pretty much a) I am not from Colorado and b) I am not Canadian. Maybe that will be appealing, ha. I did write "M.B.S." instead of "M.B.A." and only realized that after I submitted the video (daaang, homie!), but hopefully that's not a big deal.

Now, chances of me actually getting picked are most definitely ridiculously slim, but whatevs, I had fun making this little movie and it kept me from just eating a whole bag of chips in my bed while watching the Travel Channel.

January 20th - Monumental Events

Well, today marks two things: the 24th year I have been alive and the inauguration of President Barack Obama, the first African-American Commander In Chief of the United States of America. Crazy, right? Change has come to America and also to yours truly.

So, I've been going through this quarter life crisis a year early, contemplating my career and trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life. Today I was sitting in a program management review and had a revelation. In this room were finance people like myself, logistics, contracts, engineers, program managers, a vice president, and schedulers. Everyone knew it was my birthday and before the meeting started, one of my colleagues asked how old I was turning, so in front of everyone I said "24". Everyone smiled and joked that I was the youngest person in here by probably twice that amount.

That is when it hit me; I am way too cocky and impatient. I was sitting there in a room full of years of experience in international business and a wealth of knowledge that expands far beyond anything I can probably fathom at this point in my career. I get so wrapped up in money, day to day corporate america bullshit, and spend way too much time thinking about what I don't have and what I want instead of what I'm actually doing and have. Earth to Lisa..YOU ARE VERY LUCKY! I need more time under my belt, I need to focus more about being better at my job than I already am, and I need to be open minded to the fact that yes, my job sucks right now, but that is because I'm still somewhat fresh out of school and I still don't know anything. No one really owes me anything here yet because I'm still learning. I am a preschooler in the University of Global Defense.

• So the question is this...am I to just take the monotonous, number crunching, dry, and BORING as hell work that I do, week after week, and just feel lucky that I'm even employed? Just suck it up and go through the same old motions that I go through every week because "someday" it will pay off? Stop being so impatient and take things as they come..whenever that may be?
  
  OR
  
• Do I say, F this. This job sucks and it has sucked since I've started. I'm not seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. Should I say, I went to school for four years, am getting my MBA and I deserve to make more money and people need to start realizing the value I've added so far? Should I waste 45 hours a week burning my brain cells on spreadsheets all day long OR should I really be putting them towards something FUN and that I actually enjoy doing and can actually feel valued and like I'm making some kind of difference in this world, rather than feeling like if I left no one would care

Part of me thinks the first stance is definitely the right and moral option. It is conservative, safe and resembles a "let it happen" person. The problem is that in my opinion, let it happeners are pussies. I am a "make it happen" person and I choose to say F you, Northrop Grumman and your weapons of mass destruction!!!! I want to work with people and change their lives! Not destroy them indirectly through Microsoft Excel!!!! I want to make even the slightest difference in anything, whether it be teaching some kids how to multiply in a Baltimore County school, protecting the Great Barrier reef in Australia, going away to the Peace Corps for two years and stimulating microfinance in Central America, or just taking pictures that inspire people or inspire their own creative thinking.

My last observation is this: Thank God for my sporadic and random train of thought and ability to reflect on horrible ideas like "being conservative". I would never make it out alive if I actually followed through with ridiculous ideas like that. Thank you God, or whoever, for giving me the gift of intelligent rationality.

Solution to my problem: Keep applying to random jobs that do not involve anything close to what I am doing now, and that only involve making an immediate difference in anything at all.

My latest attempts: Secondary math teacher in Baltimore County and http://www.islandreefjob.com/ (as improbable as it is...at least I'm dreaming).

I guess what is driving me to think about this problem so much is that I see people every day tat work who I don't want to become. My biggest fear of sticking in a job like this one is losing that ability of free thinking and just dissolving into the background drone of these awful fluorescent lights in these stupid, fuzzy cubicles. I don't want to be like that guy I see takling to himself at the copy machine, with a strange deer in headlights look, and who has the capability to multiply and divide ridiculously large numbers to the exact decimal point within seconds time and who has lost all characteristics of actually being a human being with social tendencies. I do not want to lose the ambition to be who I am and I want to stay young at heart by not succumbing to the pressures of bottom lines and Corporatocracy.

I won't give up. What is that popular saying? Good things come to those who wait? F those guys, I'm going after it.

Hello 2009 - Random thoughts

Is ambition a good or bad thing? Most would say good. But what if you are one of those people that are so ambitious, go-go-go, and commitment obsessed they somehow turn all of these great ambitious things into stressful need-to-do's that ultimately lose the characteristics that attracted this person to them in the first place?! All of these wonderful things suddenly become a headache and infects all of the other ideas and to-do's.

In my case, at least for the past few months to a year, I have set my mind to doing about 8,349,940,983 different things, all of which take place all over the world and most of which will cost a lot of money (that I definitely do not have) or to get rid of all of my debt (which is borderline impossible). My problem is, when I say I am going to do something I usually follow through 99.9% of the time. This should be a good thing, however, I have got to the point where it is not. What I have learned though, over the last few months is that life is not a to-do, not a list, and not on my google or outlook calendar. Life is meant to be just that; lived; not considered something that needs to be done right now, this very second, and something that can't wait until tomorrow.

My life post college has helped me realize a lot about myself and I have recently become very comfortable with who I am. I've learned to slow down. I've learned to think things through. I've learned patience and rationality. I've learned to reflect and to absorb. I have always been a good listener, but I've learned to reciprocate and reinforce. I feel this is a more recent development (within the last year), and what I think sparked it is by doing things that actually bring me happiness and resolve--things that dont have requirements, T&Cs, deadlines, or bottom lines.

Starting this year, there is a lot that I am eager to start achieving and exploring. It's time for some genuine personal reform.


There are many things that I want to do, improve on, and figure out. I want to take photography more seriously, I am questioning school, I am questioning my career, I'm contemplating life on the west coast, I'm getting back to blogging, exploring yoga and meditation, taking one thing at a time, forgetting what it means to rush, understanding relationships, understanding people, ignoring and avoiding superficialness, surrounding myself with people whose company I truly enjoy, accepting that people grow apart and that is OK, etc.


Happiness is meant to be a euphoric feeling-have I truly felt it? What I believe is that one can't be ultimately happy until you level with yourself on your own being. In that case, I'm a pretty happy chick.


Now, I am not trying to give a false sense of who I am. I am not some zen hippie that has finished a journey of soul searching and found the meaning of Life. I am only 24 years old and probably have zero idea of what lies ahead of me or what path I will take. I believe people never stop soul searching. I am still the random, scattered, overly ambicious, and loving and dorky person you all know. I'm exactly the same, I just learned to be less serious and more open minded and observant. This, in turn, helped me learn how to reflect and that, so far, has been a very healthy exercise.

Writing all of this stuff down makes me feel somewhat complete and satisfied. I like this.